Just as you have said..

time passed.. though memories still remember no matter how vague it is.. but I have learnt to let go since then.. After struggling for so long after that time, I realize how things are.. I nv blame you and dun push all the guilt to you.. What happen had happened.. and I am in wrong too.. I am just not gd enough to you.. I tot i can be a better person now but guess i am reverting back to my old self.. The way i look into relationships isnt the way I used to be... Maybe this had been wat you are going thr at that time.. after all they say girls mature earlier than guys...

Now just hope that you are happy with him.. and for me. just hope that mine will turn out good too.. I still have a long way to go.. but you are different.. if he is the one, dun make the mistake of behaving like a girl le k? girls' emotioanal feelings are hard to control.. guess you are having problems with him too.. but nvm.. trust yourself and him.. once this phrase of life is over, you can be with him happily le.. think you know wat i meant..

all the best to you.. and jiayou!! =)

I get to know two girls at work.. One same age as me.. the other age 20.. Though we are always at loggerheads, I feel that they are very nice girls.. I can be myself when I am with them.. just like how I talk with my uni frens, or even with my best frens they all.. And truthfully, I enjoy chit chat with them cos it just seems like back in the secondary sch time. Able to talk like pretended 'enemies' and 'lovers'... the kind of ai mei de way..

But I nv harbour thought of liking them.. But why are girls always sensitive to this issue? She can say if I care about her feelings I wun be doing so, but in the first place if she truly trust me, how will she be feeling this way? Cant I choose my own frens and decide how I wan to treat them?

And why must there be a comparison when it comes to who I am treating better? Can frens and girlfriend be compared in this way? How comes she cannot understand this? I just like to be who I am when I am with my frens.. honestly speaking, I am a smooth talker in front of the girls.. I like to talk to them as if we are being lovers.. I like the ai mei style.. I feel that they are 'better' frens to me in this way.. I feel closer to them in a more friendly way.. Is it wrong?!!! maybe I giving a wrong impression in this way but where is the trust that I needed? I nv done anything wrong.. just being nice to my frens.. y must she end up comparing again? Y must she be thinking so much??? Y must she feel the way that I may betray her anytime?!!!

I am a victim in this situation before.. dun I understand what the feeling like... dun sound as if I deliberately do this kind of things... I am not harbouring any other feelings except just friendship!!! Can it be get across to her?? can she understand I am this kind of person???

I really dunno how long more I can take it.. I am feeling really very exhausted now..

Stepping into a cross junction..
Everything just seems to be so far far apart..
Asking myself if it is right to hold on..
How sure am I towards my own feelings?

Has it becomes just mere friendship?
Or am I still feeling love for you..
Why must quarrels keep crossing our paths?
How sure am I towards our future..

Wishing you to be happy day by day..
Yet bringing sorrow to you time by time..
Is it true that once broken it cant be mend?
or just that wound heal longer than what we think..

Sometimes I just need a little break from everything.. I just need some space too. I have been paying too much attention to you which lead to wat happen now. haiz.. wat I wan isnt like this.. I yearn for your attention yet it is nt wat I am expecting it to be like now.. Haiz.. You are still so young you dun understand. I dunno if this cont on like this how can everyting last.. But I know eventually wat will happen.. even if I dun wish it to happen, can it be done? I am doubting it now.. =(

Just yday I tidied my desk when I came upon some memories of you...

I feel the love that we once shared.. Bitter and sweet... and I cherish all that we have been together... Around 6 years of love and 10 years of friendship...

Phew... Time really seem to have gone by so fast... I felt so relieved.. At least now I know that you are contended.. you have managed to find the one that you are willing to spend ur rest of the life with.. Even though u nv told me much, I know that you are really trying your best effort to pursue this relationship.. I sincerely wish you all the best..

And I am really happy yday.. 23 Dec... It will be remembered...

左边

你不曾发觉
你总是用右手 牵着我
但是心却跳动 在左边
你和我之间 的遥远
永远隔着亲切 爱少得可怜

伸出 右手
想陪着你 向前走
感受 你爱我的心跳 在左边
那么深深爱你的我
相信你 会了解...

Is this how we all used to be like when we are 16?

Playful... Hanging out with frens oftenly...
Comfortable... Enjoying one another's company...
Tao qi... Laughing and joking with one another...
Carefree... Not as much stress as we are having now...
In love... love at first sight or even crush?

But what is it now?

Responsible... Having to account for our actions
Understandable... Need to learn to know how to get along with others
Stressful... Studies, work or even relationships
Not in love... Trying to maintain, getting away or finding a new one?


It seems that I am getting emo again... Argh..