I get to know two girls at work.. One same age as me.. the other age 20.. Though we are always at loggerheads, I feel that they are very nice girls.. I can be myself when I am with them.. just like how I talk with my uni frens, or even with my best frens they all.. And truthfully, I enjoy chit chat with them cos it just seems like back in the secondary sch time. Able to talk like pretended 'enemies' and 'lovers'... the kind of ai mei de way..

But I nv harbour thought of liking them.. But why are girls always sensitive to this issue? She can say if I care about her feelings I wun be doing so, but in the first place if she truly trust me, how will she be feeling this way? Cant I choose my own frens and decide how I wan to treat them?

And why must there be a comparison when it comes to who I am treating better? Can frens and girlfriend be compared in this way? How comes she cannot understand this? I just like to be who I am when I am with my frens.. honestly speaking, I am a smooth talker in front of the girls.. I like to talk to them as if we are being lovers.. I like the ai mei style.. I feel that they are 'better' frens to me in this way.. I feel closer to them in a more friendly way.. Is it wrong?!!! maybe I giving a wrong impression in this way but where is the trust that I needed? I nv done anything wrong.. just being nice to my frens.. y must she end up comparing again? Y must she be thinking so much??? Y must she feel the way that I may betray her anytime?!!!

I am a victim in this situation before.. dun I understand what the feeling like... dun sound as if I deliberately do this kind of things... I am not harbouring any other feelings except just friendship!!! Can it be get across to her?? can she understand I am this kind of person???

I really dunno how long more I can take it.. I am feeling really very exhausted now..